The hidden key to a healthy relationship is not just managing money but understanding how the other approaches money.
Every couple argues about money. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for 4 months, money touches every decision you make as a couple—from the $5 cup of coffee to the $50,000 car. And when the two of you don’t see eye-to-eye on how much to spend or how much to save, that’s when arguments turn into ugly toxic fights that leave both persons feeling hurt and angry. It’s why money has become the #1 cause of divorce in the U.S. Obviously, something needs to change. The reason this crisis has not been addressed is because it has never been identified, defined, or given a name. Scott and Bethany Palmer, aka “The Money Couple,” have identified and defined this problem and offer concrete solutions to fix it.
Once you know your Money Personality, you can get to the root of money arguments and start really working together. You’ll discover what has an impact on your loved one’s money decisions, and you’ll learn how to talk about money in a way that’s actually fun! You’ll figure out how to put an end to money secrets and lies once and for all.
It’s not just about money management, and it’s definitely not just about overcoming debt. It is a whole new way of living that will change everything in your relationship. Tens of thousands have already been transformed. Are you ready?
|Contributor(s)||Scott Palmer , Bethany Palmer|
|Release Date||Jan 1, 2013|
- Review by Mary
- Review by Nathan
The book itself is divided into three parts, with the first part dealing with explaining the money personality and asking the couple reading this book to take tests at their website (www.themoneycouple.com) to determine their level of financial trust as well as to work through the book chapter by chapter over a period of 90 days. The second part of the book examines the core nature of money personality conflicts in our own lives and in our relationships with others, as our good intentions are often misinterpreted or can lead to problems in the face of monetary realities, or can lead to problems of trust and control. Particularly important in this section is an examination of the concept of financial infidelity, which is any kind of non-transparent behaviors (private accounts or credit cards or funds) designed to gain freedom from the scrutiny or control of the other partner, and which demonstrates an extreme lack of trust. The third section, on reclaiming marriage, focuses on some techniques the authors developed through their anecdotal experience that can help couples decrease tension and rebuild trust in financial affairs (which touch all aspects of our lives). These techniques included an annual money dump, where couples commit to discussing all the financial issues they are wrestling with without blaming the other partner, as well as monthly meetings where couples evaluate their debt and savings, discuss their needs and concerns, and then work on shared dreaming and planning for the future, as well as give some advice on how couples can “fight fair” by the technique of “stop, drop, and roll” to avoid starting a fight prematurely and dropping misconceptions and assumptions while seeking information about the financial behavior of their partner.
A particular strength of this book is the fact that the authors make no claims to be presenting Gospel truth, but rather are seeking to provide techniques for couples to deal with the stress of money problems in today’s world. This is a book that deals with practice and is not a book that is interested in deeper conceptual matters aside from its focus on the deep roots of financial personality in our makeup and experiences. At the core of this book are deeper spiritual matters that the discerning reader can pick up on, including the importance of trust and open and honest communication between spouses. Those couples who are committed to honesty, kindness, and openness will find this book particularly appealing. Those looking for citations of biblical verses will be disappointed, although this book as a whole is a demonstration of the Golden Rule and the Bible’s frequent calls for mutual love and respect among spouses, as well as a reflection on the serious nature of our covenantal obligations to spouses. For those couples who are married or looking to get married, this book is an excellent read to help overcome and limit conflicts, as well as understand the origin of our partner’s financial behavior in their personality, which should make this book of use to many peoples as long as they are willing to commit themselves to open communication that seeks to understand others rather than accuse. (Posted on 1/14/2013)