The relationships in your life will make the difference between happiness and misery.
The right relationship will launch you to the heights of achievement; the wrong one will tether you to mediocrity. Your relationships will be your sources of greatest joy and your venues of greatest pain. Van Moody says, “When people show you who they are, pay attention.”
We need to undertake the important task of evaluating our relationships intelligently. We need to recognize the people with whom God has called us to walk in mutually beneficial relationships and to identify those who will derail our destinies or hinder His purposes for our lives. It is high time we cultivate our Relational IQs, understanding not only how to build great relationships but also how to avoid or skillfully exit bad ones.
Van Moody saw this need every day of his pastoral life, but he could not find a concise, practical resource for people who need to become more relationally savvy. He needed a beyond-the-basics study guide for Relational IQ. The People Factor is his solution.
God works in our lives through our relationships. Yet, all too often, we get our relationship advice from the most toxic sources we can find. The People Factor is based on the most effective, trustworthy relationship book of all time: the Bible.
If you hunger for a richer, more fulfilling life, your Relational IQ is the place to start. If you put The People Factor principles to work, you will become stronger, happier, and healthier in all your relationships. You will be a better spouse, a better friend, a better boss, a better parent, and a better person.
|Release Date||Jan 7, 2014|
- Review by Kathryn
The People Factor is subtitled, "How building great relationships and enduring bad ones unlocks your God-given purpose" - a hefty premise, and one that Van Moody takes on with ease. This is *not* your typical self-help-with-a-Christian-twist book, but rather an engaging journey. Moody uses personal examples and Biblical examples of good and bad relationships - models that we all share in one way or another. He then examines *why* each example is good or bad - all the underpinnings - so that we learn to recognize when we ourselves fall into these same patterns.
Moody's guide stone is the Bible - and his advice is not that of a secular pop-psychologist or pundit, but that of a caring pastor who understands that we are all imperfect, we all make mistakes, and we all can ask forgiveness, learn and move on. His advice is based on principles he derives from the Bible and his years of counseling - this is advice he himself has taken. His counsel starts with learning to *honestly* know oneself. We all have a tendency to want to blame others when relationships go wrong, but are we being honest? Moody invites us to explore ourselves, to explore our personal ways of relating - to ourselves, to God, and to others - and determine which are healthy and which are not. He invites us to release the past, to be selective, and to end relationships that are truly toxic and unrepairable. His advice is not only for "the lovelorn" - but rather he encompasses all the relationships in our lives: work, family, friends, acquaintances, partners, and more.
What I found most interesting - and useful - was Moody's concept of "covenant partners" - again, a concept based in Biblical truths. According to Moody, a covenant partner has six specific characteristics: the person can accept change, does not run away during difficulty, trusts God, trusts you, trusts himself or herself, will help you and not harm you. This is a powerful relationship - and one to be valued. It is also one we often mistakenly believe we have found when we have not - ie, we often assume relationships that are *not* covenant to be covenant - which leads to pain and dysfunction.
I learned a lot from the self-examination that the book demands...I am currently in a sort of "career and life changes" limbo, figuring out anew who and what my priorities must be. I found Moody to be an apt and sensitive guide - and again, his foundation in Biblical truth is important for me, because I find the "self help" genre as a whole tends to encourage a great deal of selfishness and self-absorption. Moody's book forces one to look within so that one can then honestly look out. (Posted on 6/2/14)
- Review by DEBRA ELLIOTT