What do you do when a relationship goes off course?

Whether it’s with a manipulative boss, a critical neighbor, a controlling spouse, or just a friendship that needs a tune-up, that relationship can leave you discouraged, worn down, and helpless.  How do you narrow the gap between where things are and where you want them to be? How do you decide whether to lean in with understanding or set more healthy boundaries?

In Renovate Your Relationships, Scott Vaudrey gives you the tools you need to bring healing and new life to even your most difficult relationships. With real-life stories and practical ideas, Scott explores how to

  • diagnose destructive patterns in specific relationships,
  • avoid over-acceptance of others or over-protection of yourself, and
  • foster new and healthy relational patterns with the most important people in your life.

Using groundbreaking practical tools, Scott unearths the root causes of relational breakdowns and gives you the confidence you need to move into life-giving patterns of loving others—and yourself—well.



Scott Vaudrey is a retired emergency department doctor and pastor. He received his MD from the University of Washington in 1988, and a Master’s in Transformational Leadership from Bethel University in 2005. After transitioning from medicine to ministry, he served as a pastor for sixteen years, helping thousands of people navigate their relational challenges. Today he splits his time between executive coaching and speaking to staff teams, nonprofits, churches, and organizations around the country about how to improve relationships and create thriving team cultures. Scott and his wife, September, live in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. They raised five children and have three grandkids—and counting. To learn more about Scott’s credentials or to contact him about coaching or speaking, go to scottvaudrey.com.

“Scott Vaudrey offers immense wisdom and hope for both bridge building and gracious boundaries. The depth and simplicity of his wisdom is immediately practical, and what he has written is battle-proven and life-giving. If you are in relationship with any human being, you need this book.”

Dan B. Allender, PhD

professor of counseling psychology and founding president, the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology

“Renovate Your Relationships will be a book people reread annually, and every relationship in their life will be better for it. Scott is a genius, and the concepts in this book are genius, forged in the fires of pastoral care over so many years.”

Shane Farmer

senior pastor, Cherry Hills Community Church

“Wow! This book is a must-read for increasing the quality and effectiveness of your relationships. It’s a guide to developing the relationships you want, whether personal or in business. I’m making this mandatory reading for my entire leadership team.”

Brett Lundstrom

president and CEO, Lundstrom Insurance Agency, Inc.

“For the sake of your relationships and emotional health, read this book. Scott Vaudrey unpacks profound truths about healthy relationships with humility, grace, and courage. Renovate Your Relationships is on a very short list of books I will read annually to reset my mind, soul, and relationship habits. Scott’s insights are transforming me as a leader, husband, father, and friend. Through his words, I am becoming more truthful and more gracious. (Every person who has to interact with me thanks you for this book, Scott!)”

Jon Klinepeter, MBA

founder and CEO of Better Good Group LLC and president and CEO o f Forrest Bradshaw Industries, Inc.

“I had the privilege of working with Scott Vaudrey for more than eight years. During that time, when I was navigating some of the most precarious relational situations, he was my first call. Scott has an uncanny ability to perceive and accurately diagnose confusing relational dynamics, then offer an illuminating way forward. Renovate Your Relationships is not just an engaging read, it’s a guide to gain clarity when you face relational complexity.”

Darren Whitehead, DMin

author of Holy Roar (co-authored with Chris Tomlin) and senior pastor of Church of the City

“This book is a must-read for anyone navigating relational pain or disappointment. Scott’s wisdom, skill, and decades of experience make him the perfect person to shed light on a topic that affects us all, and then equip us with tools to build both bridges and boundaries ultimately leading to healthier, authentic relationships. If more people apply the principles and practices in this book, workplaces will become healthier, marriages will be reconciled, and relationships teetering on the edge will stand a chance at reconciliation.”

Sarah Riebe

COO of Slingshot Group